The Naked Gun 2 ½ : The Smell of Fear ( 1991) – Frank Drebin ( Leslie Nielsen)ģ. “I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults Goldmember ( 2002) – Nigel Powers ( Michael Caine)Ģ. “There's only two things I hate in this world. From over 80 years of funny quotes in film, here are our 50 favorites.ġ. It doesn't matter if the film is funny, only that the line is. We also prefer one quote rather than a dialogue to set it up. We prefer lines that make you laugh, even if you haven’t seen the movie. With this truth in mind, we offer up our favorite 50 funny quotes from films over the past years. Winning isn’t getting ahead of others.What one finds funny, another finds off-color or out-of-touch. Seems like the light at the end of the tunnel may be you. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?ĭo billboard salesmen record their sales on charts? If so, who’s at the top of the billboard charts for billboard sales? Over someone is to beat him at politeness One of the greatest victories you can gain On any given Monday I am one sale closer and Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring You might be a salesman if you insist you do more market research before you and your spouse have another child 26 When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye Usual wear and tearīusiness opportunities are like buses there’s always another one coming I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realizeįor sale, Incredible Hulk t-shirt. My motto in life: You can’t push my buttons if you don’t buy them. And I don’t mean to brag, but I’m such a good salesman that I could sell one of my fourth-floor elevator buttons to the owner of a three-story building. I design, manufacture, distribute, and sell elevator buttons. People don’t like to be sold, but they love to buyĬustomers are like teeth. Salesperson: ‘This computer will cut your workload by 50%.’ Office manager: ‘That’s great! I’ll take two of them’ 15įor sale: Broken quiz machine, $10. By the time you get it built, they’ll want something new You can’t just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. When you’re great at something, they’ll tell you When you’re good at something, you’ll tell everyone. After he handed her a ticket, she asked him, ‘Don’t you give out warnings?’ ‘Yes, ma’am,’ he replied. My sales objective is to get my prospects to look at my products the same way I look at baconĪ state trooper stopped a sales rep for going 15 miles over the speed limit while rushing to a sales call. There was one-third off all book titles at the local book store, so I bought a copy of The Lion, The Witch 10 I love the winning, I can take the losing, but most of all I love to play You might be a salesman if when you give your son a birthday present, you remind him that it has ‘unprecedented performance’ 8 Success looks a lot like failure up until the moment you break through the finish line Everyone goes barefoot.’ The other salesperson sends an email to the boss minutes later: ‘Get ready! The prospects are unlimited. After a few days, one salesperson calls the office and says, ‘I’m on the next flight. Two shoe salesmen go to a remote island to break into new markets. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake The winners will get to enter next month’s contest’ 3 Sales Manager to under-performing team: ‘We’re going to have a sales contest this month. These quotes, anecdotes and one-liners will remind you why you got into sales and restart your selling spirit. But funny, uplifting insight about sales can help ease the strain. In turbulent times, it can be even worse.
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